When You're Not Strong
by FallenAngel218
Summary: Abby accompanies Gibbs to Stillwater when she learns of his father's passing, and helps him cope. Written for the NFA "Cold" Challenge
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary:**__ Abby accompanies Gibbs to Stillwater when she learns of his father's passing, and helps him cope._

_**Notes:**__ Written for the "cold" challenge. This is a very angsty, very sad fic. A tissue warning has been issued. Possibly Gabby in this fic._

**Chapter 1**

Gibbs tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator ascended to the squad room. As he took a swig of his coffee, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He fumbled with it and flipped it open.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Leroy... it's Dr. Grady, from Stillwater."_

Gibbs hit the elevator stop. The Doctor's tone did not sound pleasant in the least.

"What's wrong, Doc?"

_"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, especially over the phone... but it's your father... he's... he's gone, Leroy."_

He remained silent for a moment.

_It's not true. No, Doc is lying. He isn't- _

"When?"

_"Mrs. Nielson went to check on him this morning, as usual, and found him in his bed. I-I don't have all of the details yet, but it appears that he died in his sleep. I'm so sorry, son... this isn't - I didn't want to have to tell you something like this."_

"It's not your fault, Doc. I can be in Stillwater before nightfall."

_"We'll see you soon. Be careful, you hear me?"_

"I will. Thanks, Doc."

He hung up the phone, turned on the elevator, and redirected it to the floor that held Vance's office. He got off without a word, and walked right pas the secretary. She knew enough not to stop him, and didn't move as he passed.

Vance was on the phone when Gibbs came into his office. Gibbs was uncharacteristically quiet while Vance finished his phone conversation. When he finally hung up the phone, Gibbs took a few steps forward.

"I need to take some leave this week, Leon."

Vance took out a blank leave form from his drawer and set it on the desk.

"Is everything all right?"

Gibbs didn't respond. He sat down and filled out the paperwork, and handed it back to Vance.

Leon took the form and skimmed it. He grew concerned when he saw the "bereavement" box checked.

"Jethro-"

His friend nodded silently.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Vance said quietly. "Take all the time you need."

"Thanks, Leon."

Gibbs turned and left without a word.

Tony strolled into the squad room, reasonably late for his shift. The first thing he noticed was Gibbs' empty desk. He turned to Tim, who was sitting at his desk, chatting with Abby over a case file.

"Where's Gibbs?"

Tim looked up.

"He hasn't come in yet. Come to think of it, he's never late-"

Tim stopped talking as Gibbs suddenly appeared in the bullpen, having just come down the balcony staircase. He quietly went to his desk and started to pack his things.

"We got a case?" Tony asked, starting to pick up his gear.

"No."

Gibbs threw his pack over his shoulder and started for the elevator. He turned for a moment and faced his concerned team.

"DiNozzo, you're team lead until I get back. Don't screw up."

"You got it, Boss," Tony said, shocked.

Abby exchanged looks with Tim, and got up to follow Gibbs. She caught him at the elevator.

"What's wrong?"

"It's okay, Abbs. I'm just taking some leave."

The elevator dinged, and Gibbs stepped on. Abby followed.

"Something's wrong, and you won't tell me."

Gibbs didn't say anything in response.

_Why did she have to follow me?_

Abby reached out and stopped the elevator.

"You don't take leave unless something's wrong. Tell me what's wrong."

"Abby-"

"Tell me."

He sighed and turned away from her. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay."

He slowly turned around, and signed to her.

"Oh no... oh Gibbs..." She tried to hug him, but he held up his hands.

"I don't want a hug right now. I just need to get out of here."

He pushed the button to start the elevator again.

"At least let me drive you to Stillwater. You shouldn't be driving after-"

"I don't need a chauffeur, Abby-" his voice was beginning to crack, and he tried to gulp it down. "I can do this alone." The elevator opened, and he stepped out. "Please, let me do this alone."

She watched him walk away as the elevator doors closed.

Vance looked up as the door to his office opened for the second time that morning.

"Ms. Sciuto," he said with a smile. "How can I-"

"I need to request leave, Director."

"Effective?"

"Immediately."

He glared at her.

"Why do you-"

"I'm not going to let him go alone."

Vance knew exactly who "he" was. He sat back in his chair.

"Gibbs isn't the type of person to request company for a trip like this," he said gently. "Maybe you should let him do this alone."

"Jackson is the only family he had left, Director. I can't let him go alone. He needs someone to be there for him." she sat down in one of the chairs in front of Vance's desk. "When my father died, I survived because I had my brother there with me. If I didn't have him, I don't know what I would have done. Gibbs doesn't have a support system in Stillwater. He needs someone, Director. He can't go through this alone."

Vance regarded Abby's speech for a few moments. He remembered how he'd felt when he lost Jackie, and how grateful he was to have Gibbs and his other friends there during his time of grief.

"Go, Abby. Sign the paperwork when you get back."

"Thank you, Director!" she jumped up and raced back to the elevator. She had to get to Gibbs' house and catch him before he left for Stillwater.

The black suit hung alone in the back of his closet. He hadn't worn it since Shannon and Kelly's funeral. He reached in and grabbed the suit, wrapped in a garment bag, and threw it on the bed.

He moved around his bedroom, putting menial things in his go bag to bring with him. He came back to the suit, and sat down on the bed.

It had finally hit him; he was packing to go back to Stillwater - to bury his father.

He heard his front door opening downstairs, and got up, wiping a couple of stray tears from his eye. He quickly busied himself with packing as the footsteps ascended the stairs. He looked up as his bedroom door creaked open.

"Why are you here?"

"Did you think I was going to let you go alone?"

Gibbs continued to pack.

"I'll be fine, Abbs."

"Why won't you look at me?"

"I'm trying to pack."

Abby leaned against the door frame, and crossed her arms. She watched him as he continued to fill his go bag. Finally, he zipped his duffel bag, and slung it over his shoulder. He picked up the suit, and turned around. Abby was still in the doorway. They stared each other down for a moment.

"Are you packed, or do we need to stop at your apartment?" Gibbs asked as he brushed by her to leave the room.

"My bag is in the car," she said, following him downstairs.

"Let's go, then."

Abby followed him outside. She snagged her duffel from her car, and they climbed into Gibbs' truck, and started for Stillwater.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

The drive to Stillwater was silent, for the most part. They drove into a blizzard that had formed near the Pennsylvania border, slowing them down considerably. Abby tried to turn on the radio, but Gibbs insisted that it be off, so he could concentrate on the road. She crossed her arms and pouted. Gibbs smiled when he saw her pout. It reminded him of a time when he'd been in her place. Long drives with Jackson were never easy, but Gibbs enjoyed every moment of them.

The blizzard was getting to be too much to drive in, so Gibbs pulled off the highway and into a rest stop. They went into the small restaurant to get something to eat, and wait out the storm.

After the waitress brought them coffee, Abby tried again to talk to Gibbs.

"Have I told you I'm seeing someone new?" she asked, trying to veer his thoughts elsewhere.

"That's nice, Abbs. Who is he?" Gibbs asked, sipping his coffee.

"It's Bill Nelson."

"From Balboa's team?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's about time. That kid's been after you for a long time."

Abby smiled and sipped her coffee.

"He's a sweet guy."

"He knows what'll happen if anything bad happens to you," Gibbs said with a smirk.

Abby rolled her eyes and finished her coffee as the waitress brought their lunch. They chatted lightly about Abby and Bill as they ate club sandwiches and chips. By the time they'd finished lunch, the blizzard was nothing more than a flurry. Gibbs paid the bill, and they got back on the road. Abby was happy to have diverted his thoughts, just for a little while.

They arrived in Stillwater by nightfall. Gibbs pulled up to the Doctor's house, and practically leapt from the truck. Abby hurried to catch up with him as he approached the front door. Dr. Grady opened it before Gibbs had a chance to knock. He held out a hand, and Gibbs shook it.

"I'm glad you made it, Leroy."

"Helluva storm coming this way," Gibbs replied. "I think we got here ahead of it."

Dr. Grady looked over Gibbs' shoulder at Abby, who was standing on the porch.

"Who is this lovely young woman?" Dr. Grady asked with a smile.

Gibbs stepped aside, and Abby stepped forward.

"This is Abby Sciuto, a good friend of mine. Abby, this is Dr. George Grady."

"It's very nice to meet you, Dr. Grady," Abby said sweetly. She visibly shivered from the cold.

"Both of you, come in and warm yourselves by the fire. It's freezing out."

Gibbs nodded, and they followed Dr. Grady into the house. He helped her out of her coat, and they joined the Doctor in his living room. It was decorated in earth tones. A plush sofa was arranged near the fireplace. Gibbs and Abby took a seat, while Dr. Grady sat in his favorite armchair, across from them.

"What happened to him, Doc?" Gibbs finally asked, after a period of silence.

"I talked to the hospital about an hour ago," Dr. Grady said softly. "Your father had a heart attack. He died in his sleep."

Gibbs nodded.

"Can I get you some coffee, son? Abby?"

Gibbs shook his head, as did Abby.

"I think I'd better get over to the house. There's a lot to do." He stood and held out his hand. Dr. Grady shook it.

"If you need anything, you call me. Okay?"

"Yes sir, I will."

Abby gave the elderly doctor a hug.

"It was really nice to meet you, Dr. Grady."

"It was a pleasure, my dear." he leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Take care of him."

Abby nodded, and followed Gibbs to retrieve their jackets. Dr. Grady saw them out, and watched them climb into the pickup and drive away.

He flipped the kitchen light on as they came into the house through the side door. The kitchen was dimly lit. There were a few dirty dishes in the sink, and a package of chicken lay on a plate on the counter. Jackson had probably taken it out for dinner the night before, and forgot about it. He crossed the kitchen, picked up the thawed chicken, and threw it in the trash.

Abby closed the door behind her and hitched her bag over her shoulder. Gibbs was already starting to clean up the kitchen. She set her bag down and went over to him. He was trying to scrub a dish clean, and he was trying way too hard. She put a hand on his wrist.

"Leave them. We can wash them together in the morning."

Gibbs dropped the plate into the sink. It broke into three pieces.

"He always leaves a mess. I always have to clean it up when I come to visit."

"The mess can wait until tomorrow. Why don't you get some rest? We've been on the road all day."

Gibbs nodded. They picked up their bags from the kitchen floor, and Gibbs showed her to a bedroom. She smiled at the football posters adorning the walls, and what looked like several varsity flags proudly displayed on the wall behind an old desk.

"You can sleep in here," Gibbs said tiredly.

She turned and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you. Promise me you'll get some rest?"

"I promise, Abbs. Good night."

"Good night."

Gibbs smiled, and left her to get ready for bed. He grabbed an extra pillow from the linen closet and went downstairs. He arranged some blankets on the couch for himself, kicked off his shoes and coat, and collapsed onto the couch. His tears stained the pillowcase as he cried and drifted off to sleep.

**TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

Abby woke up early the next morning. She dressed and went downstairs. The first place she checked was the couch, and found it empty. She made her way into the kitchen, to start breakfast. As she took the eggs and bread from the refrigerator, she heard a noise outside. She went over to the kitchen window and looked out. She could see Gibbs in the backyard, splitting wood. She watched him for a moment, and decided to leave him be. She made scrambled eggs and toast, and set down a plate on the table for him. She put on her coat and shoes and went outside to get him.

"Breakfast is ready," she said, walking across the snow toward him.

Gibbs swung the ax down and a large log split in two, falling from the pedestal.

"I'm not hungry."

"I don't care. You're going to eat."

He set down the ax.

"Abbs, I don't need you to baby me. I can take care of myself."

"Is that why you're out here with no coat in the middle of winter?"

Gibbs bent down to retrieve the pieces of wood, and turned away to carry them to his pickup. Abby followed him.

"Don't you dare ignore me!"

He threw the wood into the bed of his pickup, among the heaping pile of wood that was already there, and clapped the dust from his hands. A shiver ran through him, and he visibly trembled.

"Get your butt inside, before you freeze to death. And don't even think about telling me no."

Gibbs stood silently, staring Abby down. He suddenly remembered standing out here with his mother years ago, listening to her lecture him about the very same thing. He hadn't won that argument, either.

Silently, he turned and stalked toward the house.

Abby jogged to catch up with him, and shut the door behind them as they took in the warmth of the kitchen.

"I made eggs and toast," Abby said flatly.

Gibbs nodded and sat at the table, and started to eat the breakfast Abby had prepared. She poured him a cup of coffee and set it on the table for him. He shakily picked it up and took a long sip. Abby dished out her own breakfast, and took it and a cup of coffee to the table to join him.

Breakfast was awkward. Gibbs knew that Abby was angry with him. He figured letting things be for the moment was the best course of action. He enjoyed the breakfast she'd made, and suddenly felt terrible for being short with her.

"I'm sorry, Abbs," he said quietly. "I've been an ass."

Abby did not respond.

Gibbs finished his breakfast, deposited his dishes in the sink, and went back outside. He climbed into his truck and slammed the door closed. He started the truck, then turned it off again. He could feel himself shaking.

_Come on... get a hold of yourself._

He shook off the emotions and picked up the list on his passenger seat. He had wood to deliver, and he had to get going. He put the truck in gear and pulled out of the driveway, unaware that Abby was watching him through the kitchen window.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

His first stop, as fate would have it, was Mrs. Ida Neilson. He pulled into the driveway and turned off the truck. He sat there, staring at the front door. He was about to deliver wood to the woman who found his father.

This isn't going to be awkward at all...

A rapping on his window brought him out of his daze. He rolled it down.

"You gonna sit here all day or bring that wood inside?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Neilson," Gibbs said, getting out of the truck. He consulted the list. "The list says I owe you two cords of wood this week. Is that right?"

"That's what your Daddy always brought us," he said, turning toward the garage. "Put it on the rack next to the kitchen door."

"Yes, sir."

He pulled down the tailgate and started to unload the wood. He hadn't bundled it, but he'd helped his father deliver firewood long enough that he knew how much to leave. As he went in and out of the garage, depositing wood on the stand, he didn't notice the door open, and Mrs. Neilson come out onto the stoop inside the garage. She had her shawl wrapped around her.

Gibbs dropped six pieces of wood on his feet when he saw her standing there.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, bending to pick them up.

"Leave them. Come inside, Leroy. I've got coffee ready for you."

He set the wood in his hands on the rack and followed Mrs. Neilson inside.

"Take off your shoes," she said with her back turned to him. He smiled and took off his boots. Mrs. Neilson could always see through him. She'd known him since he was a kid, and was like a second mother to him.

She turned around and held out a steaming cup of coffee. He reached out and took it gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Come, sit," she said, taking her usual seat at the table. He sat down to her left. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine."

"Why are you out delivering wood, then?"

He looked down at his coffee.

"I needed some time."

_Thwack!_

"Ow!" he said, startled, his hand going instinctively to the back of his head.

"I know what you're doing, Leroy. You acted the same way when your Mother passed. You can't avoid everything bad that happens. Your father was a beloved man, and I know how hard losing him is for you. I had to go through it when my mother and father passed away."

He knew she was right. Mrs. Neilson was always right.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Neilson."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Leroy," she said as she stood and took his mug to refill it.

"How did you know-?"

"Mrs. Kravitz still lives next door to your Father, you know."

_Of course... Mrs. Kravitz probably saw us arguing in the driveway._

"That woman is a busybody," Gibbs replied.

"Leroy..."

"All right, all right. I'll talk to Abby."

She kissed him on the cheek and handed him a travel mug filled with coffee.

"Don't be a stranger, Dear."

"I won't." He took the mug, and kissed her cheek in return.

"Be careful out there! The roads are terrible!"

"I will. Thank you." he smiled and went back outside. He finished loading the Neilsons' wood, and climbed into the truck to head to his next stop.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Abby sat alone at the kitchen table, looking down at her cell phone. He'd been gone for almost two hours, and hadn't called her once. To say she was worried was an understatement.

As if she'd willed it to happen, the kitchen door opened, and Gibbs came in from the snow. He saw her at the table and stopped short, not sure what to say. Abby got up and met him in the middle of the kitchen. She stared him down for a moment, silently fuming.

His head snapped to the side when she slapped him. He blinked slowly as he returned his gaze to her.

"I deserve that."

"Where have you been? You couldn't call me? Or even send me a text message?"

"I'm sorry, Abbs. I should have called."

"Damn right. You could have died out there and I wouldn't have known!"

Tears started to slip down her cheeks. Gibbs wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug.

"Thank you for coming with me, Abby. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be lost," she said with a weak laugh.

He hugged her tighter.

"Thank you."

She stepped back and looked into his eyes. They were sparkling, but still full of hurt and sorrow.

"Are you ready to go to the hospital?"

Gibbs nodded. Abby took his hand, and they left the house together. It was time to face the reason for their trip to Stillwater.

**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Gibbs," said the Coroner as he led them down a darkened hall, toward the morgue. "I assure you this will be quick."

"Thanks."

They stopped in front of a large glass window.

"Please, wait here."

The Coroner went into the room and approached a table, similar to one of Ducky's autopsy tables, and looked up at the window as he gently laid his hand on the sheet covering the body. He nodded toward the window, and Gibbs nodded back. Slowly, the Coroner pulled the sheet back, exposing the face of Jackson Gibbs.

He squeezed Abby's hand as he willed the tears not to fall again. Slowly, he nodded at the Coroner, who nodded back, and covered Jackson's face again.

Gibbs let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The hardest part was over.

The Coroner came back out.

"A lot of people break down during this part. You are doing very well, Mr. Gibbs."

"It's Jethro," he said, shaking the Coroner's hand. "Give me 48 hours to make arrangements."

"No problem, Jethro. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Gibbs nodded and walked away. Abby said goodbye to the Coroner and hurried after him.

As soon as the truck was in park, Gibbs got out and headed into the house. Abby stayed behind in the truck for a moment. She sat back and fingered the crucifix around her neck. She briefly closed her eyes.

"Lord, please watch over him. He really needs you right now."

Gibbs slammed the door and stalked across the kitchen and into the study, which was situated in a small room off the living room. He closed the door behind him, and locked it.

The study was small and modest. There was an oak desk, with an open laptop computer on it. There was a small bookshelf next to the desk, and a liquor cabinet in the far corner. Jackson had kept that cabinet locked until Gibbs left Stillwater. Gibbs tried it, and found it unlocked.

He reached in and found a bottle of bourbon, and a glass. He brought them to the desk and sat down. As he dialed the number for the local funeral home, he poured himself a glass. He cringed when the secretary answered. It was the same woman that had worked there when his mother passed away, and she had the same nasal voice.

_"Gable & Jones, how may I direct your call?"_

"Is Mr. Gable available?"

_"One moment, please."_

The line was silent for a moment.

_"This is Morrie Gable."_

"Hey Morrie, it's Jethro Gibbs."

_"I've been waiting for your call. How are you holding up?"_

"I could be doing better," he said, taking a gulp of bourbon.

_"Do you have something in mind already, Jethro?"_

"Dad had a will. He wanted his funeral to be simple, and he wants to be buried next to my Mother."

_"I remember helping him with the burial plot. He bought the space next to Anne."_

"I remember."

There was an awkward pause. Gibbs took another gulp of bourbon.

"I trust you, Morrie. I've known ya for 50 years. Arrange something nice. I'll bring down a nice suit for him, and we can work out the details."

_"He'll be in good hands, Jethro. I'll call you in a few days, and we'll have lunch and finalize everything, okay?"_

"Sounds like a plan. Thanks, Morrie."

_"Take it easy, Jethro."_

Gibbs hung up and sat back in the plush chair, bourbon in hand. He remembered sneaking into the study as a teenager, to pilfer some of the liquor. Of course, the cabinet was always locked, but that never stopped him. He'd get in trouble for it down the line, but it was always worth it.

He closed his eyes as more memories floated through his mind, and soon drifted into a much needed sleep.

"Gibbs! I know you're in there! Open the door!"

He jumped out of the chair when she started pounding on the door. He quickly put the bourbon and glass back into the liquor cabinet and shut it. When he was sure he'd cleaned it up, he opened the study door.

"You've been in here for three hours! Are you all right?"

"I fell asleep."

"Oh."

"It's okay, Abbs. I shouldn't have locked the door," he said, ushering her out of the study and shutting it up behind them.

"No, I should have left you to your thoughts."

He hugged her. She could smell the bourbon on his breath.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Abbs,"

"I don't want to see you drink a hole in your stomach. Please promise me you won't use alcohol as a crutch."

"I can't promise that, Abby."

"You always retreat to a bottle of bourbon when something bad happens. Please, for me, don't do it this time."

Gibbs looked into her eyes. He always had a problem telling her no when she gave him her puppy dog eyes.  
"I'll try. That's all I can promise."

"I'll take it. I'm sorry for yelling."

Gibbs hugged her.

"It's okay, you were worried."

"How about lunch?"

"Sounds good, Abbs."

They went to the kitchen together, where Abby had lunch prepared. She set a plate in front of him with a roast beef sandwich and some fruit.

"This looks great," he said, taking a big bite of the sandwich.

They chatted lightly over lunch, and Gibbs volunteered to wash the dishes. When everything was cleaned up, they retreated to the living room to watch a bit of TV. They found a movie, and within 15 minutes, they were both asleep.

**TBC...**


End file.
